| Old bulletin board |
| Sep. 28th, 2004 |
"Evil Homer - A new MegaStar?" from MegaloManiac Magazine:
"In his second match "Evil Homer" stepped up and showed the rest of the team the way to victory by making an astounding 3 TD's."
"It helped of course that the other team didnīt seem to want to keep thair players on the field - i.e. one vermin died and a lot oher were knocked out."
"What can I say?" the manager commented after the game" Its a hard knock life....."
Brought to you by "Snooty - Loving them Snotlings" |
| - Alex |
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| Sep. 22nd, 2004 |
"Still hating the Rats" from Dumbweed Daily
"In last nights grudgematch against the rats from "The Snails" the rift between the mighty Chaos Dwarf race and the Skaven ugly vermin was increased somewhat."
"Not only did the rats foul Mr BigHat to his death(which the very partial ref. chose not to see) - they killed him once more just after the apotech had saved his life - this time on a irregular and unfair block in the back."
"The match was dominated by violence and a lot of fouling by both teams. The Dom's had to go this way as the manager pointed: "They started it!" - his memory apparently somewhat selective....."
"The match ended in a memorable win by the Dom's by 2-1 as the Snails failed a difficult one-turner."
brought to you by "Snooty - fresh snotlings for simpler living" |
| - Alex |
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| Sep. 15th, 2004 |
"Outsprinted by Mummies???" by Hmmmm Magazine
"The Dom's were overrun by mummies in last nigths match against Deadly Doom."
"After the fast start by the opposing team, the Dom's tried to regain their composition, but somehow going to the bench/KO box wasn't quite the right way to do that."
The manager comments: "Well - now we know that filling up our KO and injury box leaving too few players on the field isn't the way to go. Who would have guessed? But now we know!!!!"
brougth to you by "Snooty - raw snotlings for a raw world!!!" |
| - Alex |
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| Sep. 8th, 2004 |
"Stealing, cheating bastard Elves OR Defensive Breakdown???" from "the Underworld United Press":
ĻThe Dom's have won all the previous matches against Death Extravagante and dark elf teams as such, but had to endure a tie in last nights late match."
"In the last seconds of the match as the spectators were leaving the field to celebrate the victory the Pale Elves stole away the deserved victory."
"It was a poor efford on both sides of the ball and only barred gates and death treats held the spectators from leaving the game early....."
The Manager of "the Dom's" commented: "Well it was sort of our own fault! We didn't make enough casualties - only 1 and that's almost laughable.... At the same time the ball seemed almost too slippery for us, so we kept it on the ground for long periods of time..... There's a lot of practice to do before the next match against last years third place winners from Deadly Doom...."
"After this the manager headed straight for the apoth. to inflict some pain after he refused to lay his healing hands on a Chaos Dwarf, who now has a niggling injury and must at least miss the next game...."
Brought to you by "Snooty - when your Snotling burger has to be a killer of a meal!!!" |
| - Alex |
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| Aug. 24th, 2004 |
The Hobgoblin Music Hit Chart of the week(in excited anticipation for the Blood Bowl season to start):
1. I Will Survive(But u Won't)
2. Sorry seems to be the hardest word(aka Because You're Dead!!!!)
3. I'm counting the cattle(aka The Bull Centaur Song)
4. YMCA(the hurting of Young Males by a Careless Animal)
5. Smack the Witch up(aka The Dark Elf Hate Song)
6. The Gambler(aka The tribute to the Might of the Hobgoblin Race)
7. 99 bottles of beer(aka the Chaos Dwarf Theme)
8. Ooops I did it again(aka a Minotaur is Playing with your Heart)
9. Careless Whimpers(aka the Last Sound of Manhood)
10. Red Right Hand(aka the Last Part of the Minotaur You will See) |
| - Alex |
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| Aug. 19th, 2004 |
Only a few weeks before the start of the new season "the Dom's" have started looking for their players.......
Mad Bill has been on a killing spree since the final of last season to compensate for the loss. He has been sentences the death penalty more times than a hobgoblin can count over the summer due to the heavy casualty number whereever he has gone...... Somehow he has managed to escape justice everytime....... Divine intervention - who knows? The manager of "the Dom's" has no comments to this.....
The Bull "Mary" has been married over the summer and is now ready to inflict the pain on marriage at the Blood Bowl fields........
The dwarves have been located in a dark dungeon far under ground - drunk and full of red meat. A good whipping should help them find their championship shape again - at least in time to play the final......
The hobgoblins actually seemed relieved to be contacted by the team...... Somehow they had seemed to get themselves into trouble and are now safe - for the moment.
Dingu however seems to have got paranoid over the summer due to the bounty put on his head just before the end of last season. He DID survive the summer however, and with some intensive psycotherapy he should be ready for the first game of the season.
The spectators? Well we expect fewer than last year....... We still haven't found out what they're looking for in a chaos dwarf team!
And the manager? Well he is meaner than ever....
This feature has been brought to you by "Snooty - when your snotling burger has to be a killer of a meal" |
| - Alex |
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| May 17th, 2004 |
"The greatest scandal of BB history - Crowd Control and Cheating Lizards in the Championship Finals!!!"
from "Sports Illuminated"
"In the more than suspect championship final between the brilliant Dom's and the mutated snakes from Silverado, the crowd stopped the match twice after the 2-1 and 3-1 goals for the snakes. They made it virtually impossible for the highprofiled Dom's to be allowed to have a go for the Silverado endzone, as the unsportsmenlike Silverado fans rumbled through the stadium for a grand total of 11 turns and - surprisingly enough - always when the Dom's was on the recieving end of the ball."
"Thus both the first and second half ended in riots from the many Silverado fans."
"Although horrendously outnumbered, the Dom's few fans stood their ground and fought off the mob. A rumour has it, that there will be cheap handbags for sale in the months to come......." |
| - Alex |
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| May 14th, 2004 |
"The Dom'inators reaches for the gold......"
from "BloodSports Illustrated - May Edition"
"We are almost ready for the final, where the Dom's will try to dominate the saddlebags from Silverado. The managers only comments are: "We're ready to enjoy the fine french snake/lizard cuisine - and we will dine with an appetite..... and chew with a purpose...... Thank you Nuffle for this great feast!!"
This said, although the Dom's fans will be hopelessly outnumbered"
"Let the mayhem begin!!!!!!" |
| - Alex |
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| May 1st, 2004 |
"OUTRAGEOUS"
from "The HobGoblin News of the Abyss"
Our great hero Dingu from "the Dom's" has been targeted.......
There has been put a price on the head of our sweet innocent little hobbie star Dingu.....
We are trying to figure out who has commited this act og cowarcy.
We are confident though, that it hasn't anything to do with the casualty and the TD he made in the last match against the pale elves from Death Extravagante.... |
| - Alex |
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| May 1st, 2004 |
The "Dom's" ride the headlines once more:
"THE WHO? BET YOU KNOW BY NOW!"
from "The Disinformer"
"Nobody thought it possible but now they're here - in the final against the Lizards from Silverado"
"The manager of the Dom's has already proclaimed a large sale of suitcases and bags in beat up snakeskin after the final"
"GREEDY OR ECONOMICAL SMART?"
from "Financial Prey"
"After scoring the gamewinning TD and being voted MVP of the match against the paleskinned elves from Death Extravagante H'Thark refuses to join the Dom's for the final, as he wants more money, than he was offered."
"Ungrateful bastard" the manager comments. "We don't need him! We have a perfectly good snotling, who can fill in for him anytime. He hasn't been that important anyway............bastard!" |
| - Alex |
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| Apr. 29th, 2004 |
The Papers Write:
"BACK IN BLACK"
From "Blood Illustrated"
The Domi's now choose to break the silence and mystery that has engulfed the team since the first poor weeks of this season: "I never doubted our potential and always knew we would at least make it to the semi's" the managers comments.
He continues: "Although we lost a bull in the course of the tournament, we have been compensated with H'Thark's unending support. We welcome his company back in the next matches."
Watch out Bowlers - This team could go all the way!
"A FIRE IS BURNING INSIDE THAT BULL!!!!"
From "The Pain of The World"
" Wild Bill from >The Domi's< seems to have found himself on the BloodBowl field with 2 casualties in the last game alone."
"Now let there be more pain and suffering for our opponents in the last 2 matches - Lets bring on the heat guys" the manager exclaims.
We are looking forward to further mayhem from a team that has picked up the violence and won't seem to stop!!!
These quote's were brought to you by "Snooty - when your snotling burger has to be a killer of a meal!!" |
| - Alex |
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| Feb. 26th, 2004 |
"Finally we found a sponsor: Snooty!" the manager comments. "And what an appropiate one it is. All the snotlings we can eat, and they are fresh too. Your just have to keep a firm grip on your burger to make sure the meat doesn't escape during the meal...." the manager continues.
In this way The Dom's are garanteed a delivery of 500 fresh snotlings a week!
"Go Snooty - When your snotling burgers has to be a killer of a meal" |
| - Alex |
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| Feb. 26th, 2004 |
The Dom's are looking forward to the next match after the ridiculous start of the season:
"We're looking forward to smashing some treeheads and birdbrains from the Grayhavian Renegades. This match could be our cas. and kill game of the century" the manager comments.
"GRRRRR" says the minotaur as he will be out with an injury.
Watch out - The Dom's are looking for revenge!!!!!!!!! |
| - Alex |
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| Feb. 26th, 2004 |
The disappointed manager of "The Dom's" had some clear takes on the performance in the opening match:
"That damn cow, with her >Oh I'm too pretty to score TD's or participate in the game at all. I just want to stand there and take in the crowds admiration<.
A game like that again and she will not be the one who is taking anyting in. Rather she'll be the one who is going in...... We have a minotaur and we are not afraid to use it outside the field as well!!!!"
"And where the f...was the apo when we needed him to cure the minotaur? That chickens... better be ready the next time or he will be cages in with minotaur for good - first he will be dipped in BBQ sauce - of course...." |
| - Alex |
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| Feb. 10th, 2004 |
With the upcoming of a new season at hand The Domi's have had to change their tactics a little bit as their Minotaur "Wild Bill" has changed his temper somewhat. He's only occupied with inflicting punishment on the opposition and has been seen roaring frustated without moving because there's nobody to hurt next to him.
"The next season he might have to go a lot more to the LOS to keep his bloodthirst satisfied" the manager revealed. "But be sure we will find a place for him on the team" he commented further.
The only thing Wild Bill had to say was "GRRRRRRRRRRRR" and "ROOOOAAAAAAR" just seconds before our photographer was lost forever - that'll teach him to try to make a close-up on a minotaur - or rather it will not...... |
| - Alex |
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| Dec. 10th, 2003 |
The managers comments after the 2-1 win over Zhatan's Disciples:
"It felt great to beat our brethren, although their numbers where severely cut short. It never was a beautiful game, both team obviously marked by the insignificance of it all.
Of course we are disappointed with the near miss of play-offs, but we will be back next year on a killing spree. So no mercy next year, allthough our minotaur propably never will be the same......" |
| - Alex |
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| Nov. 25th, 2003 |
The managers comments after the 2-1 win over Cold Blood BBC:
"Good stabile performance. Wild Bill only cost us one turn this time and only because he misplaced himself after the 2-0 kickoff - I told him to stay long away from LOS, but will he lissen?
A couple of brilliant plays on our behalf and some bad luck for our opponent secured the victory. Our opponent managed to score to 2-1 in his 7th turn in the second half, but the last part of the game never really got exciting." |
| - Alex |
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| Nov. 19th, 2003 |
The managers comments after the 2-0 win over Reapers In Place:
"A fabalous game where we pacified their mummies, while their ghouls where punished by Wild Bill, who only lost us 2 turns this time - however he also made 2 casualties(1 was a kill) and earned a new skill."
"We were very close to a last TD in the dying moments of the match, but the Reapers refused to recieve another TD against them."
"But not a match without some sort of bad performance. This time we must concentrate our asswhipping at our apothecary, who refused going near our bull Mary although he recieved a serious injury. This will not go unnoticed!!!!!!!!!!" |
| - Alex |
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| Nov. 6th, 2003 |
The managers comments after the 0-0 draw against Stone Curve:
This is the second time that bastard minotaur cost us a victory. I told it to stay the f*** away from the line of scrimmage. It has the memory of a clam. In a more positive note it did however manage to "take loving care" of a small guy from the other team(dwarf).
And why Mary tried to dodge into 2 tackle-zones still illudes me. What can I say: Just another week of hard bullwhipping.
Positively - the ball was only once on our half of the field for a single turn in the hands of a very lonely dwarf runner. He did not feel welcome!!!!!! |
| - Alex |
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| Oct. 22nd, 2003 |
The managers comments after the 1-1 draw against the bitches of "Sillicon Valley United":
What happened? We should have won, if not that indisciplined bastard of an Minotaur fell over two times in the second half. An opportunity that the bitches were not long to take advantage of.
The only comfort was that the minotaur was killed later - unfortunately the apo worked.
Well - a whole week of minotaur ass-whipping should mold him in shape for the next game - a grudge match against a disgusting dwarf-team.
God - we hate dwarves. |
| - Alex |
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| Oct. 15th, 2003 |
The managers comments after the 2-0 win over the decimated Parravon Pirates:
Brilliant!!!! Why didn't I realize this before? In the future we will only play teams, which start with less than 10 players. It's a lot easier to win and build up your team this way.
The only disappointment was that Mary(bull) felt like he didn't have to score yet another TD in the dying moments of the match - one was apperently enough.
Not an attitude a little bull-whipping won't cure. |
| - Alex |
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| Oct. 8th, 2003 |
The managers comments after the 1-0 loss against Back Breakers:
I am very disappointed about the condition of the team. No strength or stamina. Our two bulls left the game early taking a chaos dwarf with them to the injury box. The apo was too busy saving the life of a mere hobgoblin.
In the next game our strategy will be to field 11 players and to keep them on the field for a longer period of the game.
Further we would like to make some TD's - no more falling over the line to the end-zone hobbies(or else we will serve you as a meal for the bulls)!!!!!! Yes it is a threat!
That's all for the manager for now - gotta go whip some bulls!!! |
| - Alex |
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| Oct. 3rd, 2003 |
The managers comments after the tie against Apple Pie Mayhem:
"We expected this game to be a walkover, as we thought we had an agreement with the little hungry guy's from Apple Pie Mayhem. We agreed not to hurt them if they gave us the victory. Instead they greased themselves up and those slippery ba...... tricked us, killing Fido in the procedure.
After this the rest of the team woke up late in the second half and discovered, that they were trailing the little ones by one TD. This forced them to turn to roughing up the short ones to produce the gametieing TD."
"After this" the manager continues "all bets are off. No more deals only kills. We hope we'll meet those ba....... again!" |
| - Alex |
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| Oct. 3rd, 2003 |
Fido's legacy:
In the "walk-over" opening match against those nice little fellows from Apple Pie Mayhem, Fido really stepped up and showed his potential. After spending the better part of the game wondering, why so many strange-looking people kept running around him and sometimes into him, he turned his back at a huge treeman, who blocked him in the back.
After this Fido had enough and chose to join his forefathers in "The Dark Caves of Oblivion". Why he didn't choose to regenerate to fight another day we'll never know. |
| - Alex |
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| Sep. 17th, 2003 |
Lets get ready to fumble!!!!
There are evil rumors going around, that the team is in a rather unfit state just weeks before the season premiere.
It is said, that the bulls have been on grass for to long, and that the dwarves have had a little to much ale and red meat in celebration of their soon to come first apearence in the pro's.
The Hobbies are as cunning and evil as ever though, having spent most of their summervacation coming up with dirty tricks and foul plays. Their moto being - If you can't get the man get the ball. |
| - Alex |
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| July 22nd, 2003 |
"Dominions of Chaos" will release their terror in the next season. So keep your small rats, pretty elves, puny humans, ugly orcs, and other child-like players indoors, if you don't fancy a severe beating.
For the "Dominions of Chaos" TDīs are secondary to slaughtering and bloodshed. |
| - Alex |
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